Not Ready Yet

It's so hard to feel good about a project I can't yet see the end of, and when there are so many voices around me asking why it isn't shipped yet, why it's not out, etc. I know it's not ready. I don't want to ship something half-finished and get a handful of weak ratings on day one. Also — they don't quite get it. I'm literally making an art piece here, and in some way it's also a thesis defense. So until the major pieces fall into place and things actually feel right, I'm not ready to ship. Not really.

My deadline for myself is end of this month. Which is approaching fast. Yeah, I know. But there's just so much still to do. Getting an app out alone, especially one as complex as mine — literally about living in the ice age — it's going to be hard and it's going to take time. I don't want to feel pressured. Though I also know the world moves fast and maybe I should push harder too. But I don't feel prepared. I don't feel emotionally aligned yet. And if that's the case, I just can't.

There's a right time and a right place to do things. And right now, that's just not it.

Today Jordan finally got to meet my parents and sister. We had lunch at this very expensive Greek place, had conversations, all of that. Later we went to visit Esther's place and walked through Central Park, then came back to grab our luggage and send Jordan off to the airport — he took an Uber. I also got to meet Peter, Esther's husband. He seems chill. We talked about how Esther's going to move to Dallas with him because of his PhD program there. That'll be a whole new chapter for them.

Not sure what else to say tonight. Between listening to soundtracks I'm pulling from freesound.com and dropping them into my app, and the constant churn of traffic and city sounds outside — we're really close to Times Square — there's a lot going on. I'm tired too. Maybe I'll just go to sleep.

Goodnight for now. I hope Jordan gets back okay.