Bear Jordan

Mostly watched Pluribus and Titanic on my flight back from Taiwan to the Bay Area. What follows is basically my Titanic review on Letterboxd that ended up bleeding into Pluribus, lol.

I was going to write something poetic about how the kind of true love that lingers in our minds even after decades is the young one — the kind that felt freeing and exciting, the kind that would let go and wish for your wellbeing even if it isn't going to be part of your forever. But I realized that's only part of my truth now.

Now I mostly just want the kind of connections where I can talk about movies and TV shows with someone. I love my boyfriend — he's kind and nerdy, but not the soft-movie-nerd kind. And after watching all the episodes of Pluribus on the plane back (before Titanic), I wanted so badly to share my wonders and reflections about it, and realized I didn't really have anyone to share them with. Which is maybe a strong signal that I should make some new friends and reach out more, haha.

Also — can we please talk about how good Pluribus is. If you had the chance to join an enlightened happy hivemind, would you do it? Genuine question. And the way the collective asks for space is top tier: "we still feel the same for you, we just need space." Making others feel less anxious while holding the boundary. Beautiful writing. 10/10 recommend.

Oh — and Pluribus literally naming the only dog that showed up in the show "Bear Jordan" killed me, because that's literally both my boyfriend's dog's name and his name. LMAO. The universe is so weird sometimes.

At the end of a long day — even longer now that I'm back in the Bay and the day stretches a few extra hours from the time zone shift — I reunited with Jordan, caught up, and it was really nice to be in his embrace again.

He did bring up my employment situation, which triggered me a bit. Because I am doing real work with my app and everything — just not fast enough in terms of shipping to actually make money yet. And I still really don't want to waste my time on someone else's projects when I have so many of my own going. I don't know if he'd fully get it. I don't know if anyone really gets it. But I suppose it is what it is. I'm so close to shipping now.