Drive Back, Dream Forward

Jordan found my first white hair today. 😭 All the stress and the lower immune system from this past year catching up to me, I guess. I AM AGING. It's fine. It's fine!!

Drove back to the Bay Area in the afternoon. Along the way Jordan and I made decent talk — his upcoming New York trip, the AI industry, all the usual things we circle back to 😂. Jordan called Larry and we chatted for a bit. Larry's heading to Las Vegas to meet up with some guy he found on Craigslist for a 700-foot climbing session. Wild 🧗.

Somewhere along the drive I started dreaming about the future. Like really letting myself go there. Once I'm actually doing the things I love and they're sustaining me financially — I want to go on a European trip. Barcelona, the UK, Amsterdam, maybe a stop in Germany to meet my online friend Soundi (who's actually visiting Las Vegas this weekend for an Illenium concert!! I wish I could've joined him but I really didn't want to be financially irresponsible about it 🎶).

But after all the dreaming — thanks to more confidence in my ability now — I still felt that pull back. Like, I don't have anything structurally going on just yet. The dream is there but the foundation isn't built. So I gotta push harder. Yeah.

But still — I can't help it. The romanticized version keeps playing in my head. A year from now, working from anywhere in the mornings, spending the rest of the day just... being somewhere. Walking through narrow streets in Barcelona with nowhere to be. Sitting in an Amsterdam café watching the rain 🌧️. Sketching in a park in London. Meeting Soundi in person for the first time in some random German city, laughing about how we've known each other for years through a screen. Working on my projects from a hostel common room, laptop open, strangers becoming friends over cheap wine 🍷.

I know it's a daydream. I know I'm not there yet. But it doesn't feel impossible anymore, and that's new.